red-headed android

part 3 of a series that began with ‘becoming aragorn’.

do you feel like a ‘bad player’ when you play TTRPGs, like dungeons and dragons? do you feel inadequate, or like you’re letting people down? do you wonder how you can fight these feelings and improve as a player, so everyone at the table has more fun?

this is part 3 of my guide on how to do that.

sometimes, i meet people who think that playing tabletop games is a passive experience. here’s what i mean:

sure, yeah, you can give your input every once in a while and maybe the other people will even react to it, but mostly, you’re here to watch the GM’s show.

if there’s something you need to do, the GM will tell you what and how, or else signal to you that it’s time for you to press a button (talk to someone, go someplace, get in a fight, et cetera).

if there’s something you need to focus on, the GM will tell you that it’s important. if the GM wants your enthusiasm or input, they’ll specifically call out that it’s Input Time like a streamer saying “hey chat”, and then it’s your turn to perform.

since you’re a passive observer, it’s the GM’s job to handle all the active stuff: give you things to care about, tell you the rules, craft the story around you so that you always have a button to push.

this is a very bad attitude to have. it’s the number one way players become bad players. here’s how not to be like that.

the first thing to remember is that you are an active participant. your choices matter.

in fact, this is the only medium of gaming where every decision you make is a truly free choice; others have invisible walls blocking your path. your decisions aren’t just buttons you push to move the story forward. they’re opportunities for self-expression, and they’re chances to control what happens in the shared world you’re creating.

you are one of the authors of the story, so put weight on every decision you make. make them count. make them cool, and exciting, and fun to follow through on, and remember that because you’re an active participant your decisions affect everyone else at the table, too.

put thought and care into what you do in this fictional world, because it matters, even if only to a few people.

if a GM ever makes you feel like a passive participant, whose job is to guess what they want and do that thing or else the game will fall apart, they are not doing their job. play RPGs with someone else, or talk it out until there’s no problem anymore.

the second thing to remember is that other people’s feelings matter, so you should bring enthusiasm.

the people you’re playing with are excited to play this game! they’re investing in it intellectually and emotionally. the GM is doing work to bring this world to life for you. you have a duty as a player to get invested in the game too. make a character who you love. find things about the world and the rules that you love, too, and push towards incorporating those things. find things to love about the other players’ characters, and the NPCs. talk about them, openly. invest in them, openly. don’t be afraid; everyone else should feel the same way, because otherwise they wouldn’t be playing a TTRPG.

show everyone that you like being here, playing this particular game. show everyone what you’re excited about. if you don’t like something, say so! never sit back passively and ignore the other players’, and especially the GM’s, enthusiasm and hard work. they notice. it hurts them.

if you can’t find anything to be excited about in a game, you shouldn’t play it. that’s okay. some games aren’t for everyone. some people have difficulty appreciating TTRPGs. there’s no shame in that—it’s a niche hobby—but if that’s you, don’t subject other people to your obvious lack of interest. it’s like joking around and being on your phone while watching a drama movie at a theatre with your friends. it sucks to have your passion met with indifference by someone who promised to share in it.

if a GM ever responds to your enthusiasm and interest by cutting out or destroying the things you’re excited about, or if anyone ever mocks you for being invested in the things that happen in a game, you can do better than those people. play RPGs with someone else, or talk it out until there’s no problem anymore.

the last thing to remember is that the game is the whole package.

what does that mean? it means that when you agree to play a tabletop RPG, you’re agreeing to play a game with rules, that’s also a collaborative storytelling experience, that’s also a conversation. the game doesn’t exist without any of those things.

if you hate rules, if your eyes glaze over when you try to read a board game manual or memorize how chess pieces move, if you think knowing every wizard spell is a waste of time… you’re still here for the storytelling and the conversation, right? so you have a responsibility to learn at least a few rules. learn the things your character is good at, and remember just those. learn the basic actions you do every session, so you never bog down the game having them explained to you.

it’s okay to not know all the rules, but when you slow the game down by not understanding basic rules, you show everyone else that you’re not invested, that you don’t care. and that hurts them.

if you don’t really like collaborative storytelling, if you have trouble with roleplaying and aren’t good at improv or showing emotional investment in a story… you’re still here to roll some dice and overcome some challenges and hang out with your friends, right? so you have a responsibility to give your character some kind of personality. base ‘em on your favourite anime character. give them a one-word personality like ‘honorable’ or ‘greedy’ and let that guide all your actions. describe what they do instead of acting it out, if it helps you. anyone who says that makes you a worse roleplayer is a dweeb.

do whatever you need to to stay invested even if you don’t like roleplay, but remember that the other people at the table want to tell a collaborative story, and they’re probably really invested in that and in their characters. don’t goof around and ruin it, and put in what effort you can. if you show everyone you’re not brave enough to put any emotional investment or thought into the story everyone else loves, you show them you don’t care, and that hurts them.

if you’re not into having a conversation, if you’d rather tell your story and roll your dice without any pesky other people getting in the way, if you always butt heads with the GM and other players… try solo roleplaying! go check out Shawn Tomkin’s Ironsworn, it’s free! but don’t bring that energy to a traditional TTRPG, like dungeons and dragons. when you show people you don’t care about their feelings and aren’t interested in interplay with them, whether you’re trying to ‘win’ the game or to dominate the story, it hurts them.

being willing to compromise and have a conversation about what happens in the game is the most important thing you can have as a player. if you can’t find that in yourself, solo gaming is where it’s at. or writing a book. that’s fun! i know, i’ve done it!

so that’s the most important part of being a player: not being passive. this isn’t a game where you sit on the sidelines until it’s time for you to push the Right Button, and it’s not a game where you can leech off the GM’s enthusiasm without providing any of your own. ask questions. read the book. get elbow deep in the game and learn how it works. get invested—get hyped! bring your excitement to the table, and if everyone else reflects it back, you’ll get much more than the sum of those parts.

and under no circumstances, ever, let yourself end up a passive observer like Twitch chat. because the thing about streaming is that the streamer does all the work, and GMs don’t get paid for doing all the work. instead, they get hurt. and they’ll notice that you’re the reason.